A final farewell

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end.  After 11 amazing weeks with TVE and the children/staff at Save Africa Orphanage, it was time to share a very tearful goodbye on Thursday.  I can’t really figure out if the time flew by or crept along because it seems like forever ago that I was shedding the same amount of tears as I said bye to my family and friends but it also feels like yesterday that I was stepping off the plane in Kilimanjaro with the world's biggest case of butterflies in my stomach.  I guess it doesn’t really matter how fast or slow the past three months went, what matters is that they happened- a thought I am still struggling to comprehend.

In a recent conversation with one of my best friends, we spoke about the ability to allow yourself to be happy with where you are in life even when it feels like you are at a standstill.  Before coming to Africa, my mind was all over the place; every week I was moving to a new part of the country and every other day I was exploring a new career path.  While Africa didn’t immediately answer these questions for me as I was secretly hoping it would, it has taught me to be content with what I have.  Now don’t be silly, I still have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life, but let’s be serious- who said we have to pick just one job for our entire life?  “The rest of your life”- it sounds so final, so pre-determined, so…boring. Taking this trip has allowed me to see that we really do have the power to change whatever situation we may find ourselves in and you always have the ability to shake up that pre-destined future by taking a few risks. After all, there is nothing more beautiful and satisfying than achieving goals that may have, at one point, seemed impossible.

I didn’t really go into this experience with any expectations or overall goals but I have never felt more accomplished in my life!  I’d like to think that walking into the Save Africa Orphanage today is a little more organized and comfortable and a lot more colorful than it was three months ago. With the help of many generous friends and family members, I was able to provide the school with things we don’t even think twice about at home- pencils, erasers, workbooks, chalk, desks, paper, stickers, books, soccer balls, sheets, blankets, pillows, food, and a very memorable field trip. I don’t think I will ever be able to fully share with all of you the extent of the smiles, hugs, kisses, and thank yous I received whenever I brought another gift; my heart will be forever warmed by the thought of it.  But what makes my heart melt the most is when I think about all of the things the children gave me in return without even knowing it.  Their unconditional love has opened up my heart more than I thought possible and I will be forever changed by the smiles they brought into my life everyday.

Out for lunch

Saying goodbye to all of their shining faces was not fun but at least we had a great last week together.  Last Sunday, Matt and I went to the orphanage and took the kids out for lunch and ice cream.  They were so excited to have us come by on the weekend; it’s always a treat for them to have visitors.  We waited as all of the kids gathered in one bedroom and rummaged through the huge pile of clothes to find their Sundays best.  After they got dressed, the older kids helped the little ones clean their legs and feet by washing off in a bucket of water.  Once they were all cleaned up, we walked into town as the kids playfully fought over who got to hold our hands and ride on Matt’s shoulders.  They all ordered chips mayai and sodas for lunch and were very well behaved at the restaurant.  They gulped down the sodas within minutes and really enjoyed the huge plates of chips mayai and ketchup. It was very surprising that they still had room for ice cream!  I received lots of hugs, kisses, and “asante sana, teeecha”s at the end of the day, it made me happy to see them so happy and full.

Chips Mayai and soda

On Wednesday, we took Mama Joelle clothes shopping for the kids.  She was so excited when I presented her with the idea because she said she was going to give everything we bought to the kids as Christmas gifts.  We went to the big Wednesday market in Tengeru, a short dalla dall ride from Usa River.  I have never seen so many second hand shoes and clothes in one place; it was crazy!  We dug around for 14 pairs of sneakers, a pair for each child that lives there.  Most of the kids just wear beat up flip flops which are not the most protective against infections when playing in the dirty field so it’s great they all have sneakers now. After the shoes, we moved onto clothes.  We bought a few outfits for all of kids and I must say, they were pretty cute!  When we got to school on Thursday, we were received by our normal greeting in the field but this time all of the kids were showing off their new sneakers.  I guess the kids were too excited to see what we bought so Mama Joelle couldn’t wait until Christmas to give them the gifts!

Dance party! And a great use of the desks I had made :)

All week I was dreading Thursday because I knew it meant a day full of tears and a head spinning with 3 months of memories. But despite my wishes to stay frozen in time on Wednesday, I had to inevitably deal with the day of goodbyes waiting for me on Thursday.  I fought back tears as we took our final walk through the field and listened to the progression of screaming children running towards me and jumping into my arms. I am still having trouble grasping the fact that I won’t be greeted like that at any job I have from here on out.  I was able to hold it together for a few more minutes until I walked into the classroom and was welcomed by a huge dance party.  Francis dragged in a big stereo system for the occasion and we all danced and laughed for awhile.  I was doing ok until Francis brought his son, Joel, up to me with the saddest puppy face and tears in his eyes.  Francis turned to me and said, “Joel wanted me to tell you that he is very thankful for all you have done and he really doesn’t want you to leave”.  My eyes welled up and through laughter and tears I said “Francis! Don’t do this to me!”  As much as I would have loved to hear from each one of the kids individually, I really wasn’t going to be able to handle it emotionally.

Soccer time

The rest of the afternoon was great- the kids danced and sang songs for me, Francis and I kicked the soccer ball around as all of the kids watched and tried to keep up, I joked around with Mama Joelle and Mama Dee, Matt danced with Mwandi’s mom, and I hugged and kissed all of the kids more than I did in the three months combined.  I gave each of them silly bands and toothpaste/toothbrushes as parting gifts because sadly, I don’t think many of them have ever brushed their teeth. Turning my back and walking away from school that day was not easy; the kids all followed me out waving goodbye and blowing kisses as tears streamed uncontrollably down my face.  Mama Joelle gave me a huge hug and asked that I never ever forget her, and I even saw Pascal and Francis fighting back a few tears. I didn’t realize what an emotional experience this had become until it was over; I guess that’s what happens when you pursue a goal wholeheartedly and with such intention.

Thank you to everyone for your continuous support through the months leading up to my departure, the months I was away, and for promising me I will be greeted with open arms upon my arrival back in the States!  I couldn’t have made it through the last few months without your constant emails, phone calls, facebook messages, reminders you were following my blog, and all the generous donations.  This journey was everything I hoped it would be and more and I look forward to sharing the rest of my stories with you once I’m home!

Three months of unforgettable memories, three months of new friends from all over the world, three months of passion, emotion, and hard work- three months spent attaining a dream that still feels so surreal that I’m not so sure I will ever believe it has actually happened.